Right…I always said this blog was going to be open and honest, so this one’s coming straight from the heart! I don’t quite know where to start this week….I’ve learnt so much!
At the start of the week I was getting so frustrated with not getting it right, then I start to beat myself up, and we get into a bit of a downward spiral. Then Matt (my coach) and me had a bit of a light bulb moment when he told me to stop thinking and just get aggressive!
Er hello, but how much easier does it make life when you just stop thinking!!!!
I so want to be the best I possibly can be, that I massively over analyse everything, over think the smallest detail and end up making the whole thing far too complicated! There’s a time and a place for focusing on technique, but blimey, what a learning it was to give my brain a rest and just get out there and get powerful. Once I stop letting the self doubt get in the way, I’ve got so much fight there that some good things start to happen…and the great thing is this can only get better and better as I get back into full training and get stronger and fitter following on from the injury.
So when it came to racing this weekend, my aim was to control myself mentally, to stay strong and focus on delivering the processes we’d put in place….and not to get to wrapped up in the outcome, after all, that’s one thing we can’t control! I knew it would be a challenge for me, but I’ve worked so hard this week on this mental approach to the sport.
Up until Friday it all seemed to be going good, and I couldn’t believe how strong, confident and completely focused I felt. I was a great feeling!
However, strong winds and horrible conditions on the water on Saturday morning gave the “doubting” thoughts a few chances to rear their ugly heads. I had some interesting conversations with myself…it was hard work, but I’m proud to say I controlled the little blighters!
I had 2 solid races…perhaps not the outcomes I would have ideally liked, but I stuck to my processes, had a couple of feisty little conversations with myself, and focused on delivering what I wanted to deliver.
I even managed not to beat myself up to much when I didn’t quite get the results I wanted…instead I just looked at what I’d learnt from it and what I could do next time to make things even better! (Although that didn’t stop me from still getting a bit frustrated…but that’s good, cause it’s going to motivate me to work even harder!)
I finished the day more mentally knackered than physically, but hey, it’s a great step in the right direction for me!
We’ve now 2 weeks to go until the World Cup, and I’m excited to take away some confidence from everything I learnt this week and to focus on delivering an even stronger performance in Germany!
…..We may have had a break through!!